Monday 19 March 2007

Vindicating My Literary Reputation


It has reached my ears that some of you who've read occasional reference to books of mine, such as the “Nigerian Law of Hire-Purchase”, think that yours truly is taking the proverbial piss again.

I would now like to give notice to all my readers that I am indeed the author, inter alia, of the said “Nigerian Law of Hire Purchase” and indeed of “The Filipina Helpers’ Handbook”, a bestseller in Hong Kong, which knocked “The Dogs of War” by some guy called Frederic Forsyth into a poor second place.

I've also recently been working on a sixth edition of ‘Hicks and Goo’, soon to be published by Oxford University Press. Go into Kinokuniya in Siam Paragon in Bangkok and ask if they have a book by Andrew Hicks. While inexplicably they don’t have “Thai Girl”, they’ll take a few thousand baht off you for a copy of ‘Hicks and Goo’ on Company Law.

‘Hicks and who?’ you may well ask. Yes, Hicks and Goo, I kid thee not! And if you still don’t believe me, just try Googling Goo, along with 'Hicks, Company Law’ and see what happens.

I’m also a little offended that doubt has been cast on my forthcoming nomination for the Nobel Prize for Literature. While I admit that “Thai Girl” alone is a small body of work, I'm sure your doubts have now been assuaged, since you know the breadth and versatility of my published portfolio.

Nomination is no problem, but what about the Nobel Prize itself? Well, as a modest person, I admit I may not be the front runner yet, but it’s going to be different when I’ve published, ‘My Thai and I’. Then I’ll really be in with a chance.

Finally, if anyone posts a Comment which casts doubt on anything I’ve just said or which tends to bring me into hatred, ridicule or contempt, would they please leave an address for service of the writ for defamation that I shall be issuing against them. Literary reputations can be destroyed by that sort of thing so please don’t try it. I’m still a lawyer, remember, even if a rather old one.

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